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the list

So, dating. What’s it all about?

I’ve found that many young women and men (although women are most guilty thereof) often go around with a “list” of things they look for in a relationship.

The List might stipulate anything from height, weight, hair color, interests, hobbies, etcetera.

Many of the girls I went to school with ended up heartbroken because some or other item on the list was not met according to their expectation.


Finding Mr. Right or Mrs. Right is really a journey of discovery about yourself. In an earlier blog, ( I explained what this season of waiting entails. While you are single God is refining you from charcoal to a diamond. As much as he is shaping you to reflect Him and the Bridegroom He is also refining your future partner.

1. Discovering the real You:

Genesis 1:26 says you are created in God’s image. In His likeness. In other words, you look like your Father. When God looks at you it is as if He is looking into a mirror.

The second part of Genesis 1: 26 says you are created as a king. In other words, God has appointed you, man or woman, to rule on earth, representing Him and His kingdom. As a diamond, the more polished you become, the more you’ll be able to reflect His light.

Ephesians 1:5 and 6 says you are God’s beneficiary and His beloved.

Psalms 130 and Zachariah 2:8 says you are His treasured possession!

He loves you more than anything! He put His thumb-print all over you to mark you as His own.

2. How do you know whether it’s Mr. or Mrs. Right?

The list you draw up of feats you look for in a partner should contain as much spiritual and internal checks, if not more, as it does physical requirements. I believe God knows our heart’s desire and He wants to prosper and bless us. Go up to your Dad and tell Him about the things you want. Consult His wisdom. Ask Him questions about romance and relationships. His council is wise and His wisdom is steadfast. He’ll hand out sound advice.

The Real List:

  • Does he/she serve the Lord?
  • Does he/she respect you?
  • Does he/she respect your family?
  • Does he/she have someone who can speak wisdom into their lives?
  • Is he/she accountable about your relationship to another believer?
  • Does he/she share your dreams and visions?
  • Are you attracted to one another?

Genesis 29:10 and 11  tells the story of Jacob and Rachel. Ladies, find a guy that will be willing to wait for you. This does not mean that you should play hard to get. Commit to seeking God’s advice on your relationships.

424767_4569109583571_905877261_n13. How to prepare for Mr. or Mrs. Right

Pray for your future Partner! It’s never too late to start praying and preparing yourself for your future Husband or future Wife. Whether you’re 16 or 58, praying for your spouse  will prepare both you and your spouse in ways unfathomable.

In my Diamonds in the Rough post ( I shared part of my testimony on dating, waiting and marriage. I’ve been praying for my future husband since I was 14 and I can honestly tell you, it’s been a journey of discovery. It’s been hard at times but I know the reward will by far surpass the sacrifice. If you want more detail on this, feel free to email me. (

Get to know God while you’re single. I’ve often gone on Date Nights with Jesus. I’d light candles, put on some nice music and dance the night away with Holy Spirit holding my hand. Be creative! Ask God how He wants you to approach romance — it’s a RELATIONSHIP, not a RECIPE.

Psalms 37: 3 and 4 says “Get insurance with God and do a good deed, settle down and stick to your last. Keep company with God, get in on the best.”

I pray that you might be encouraged t0 stay pure while waiting for your partner. May Holy Spirit ravish your heart and teach you new things about intimacy and Love. May you heed Father’s advice and may you always come to know and love Him more intimately.


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